Life

what women want from men

What Women Want From Men

Some men do not have a clue what women want from them. They stumble when it comes to the little things and focus too much on the big things. It is not all about your money, your car, and things you can buy or provide for us. All of this is nice however, what we really need is fairly simple.

What Women Want…. A list of 10 things we really expect of you.

What Women Want

Spend quality time.. We really enjoy spending quality time with you. Slow down and make time for us. Put away the distractions, the computers, the TV, the over demanding work schedule and have some alone time just you and your partner. A simple relaxing evening on the porch swing, a romantic home cooked meal with nice conversation, and a walk on a nice afternoon are all great and budget friendly ways to reconnect with your sweetheart.

Be dominant and take control of situations… Whether we all admit it or not, most of us gals feel more secure and protected when our man takes the leadership role in the relationship. Some guys who are naturally more passive may have a hard time with this. We are not asking you to be a super hero. Just get in touch with your inner manly assertiveness. Show us you can lead, protect and take care of business. Do not leave it up to us to take that role.

Be romantic.. You should already know this but we love romance. If you want to capture our hearts and make us fall madly in love, be romantic! Plan a surprise romantic date. Cook us a nice candlelit meal. There are so many ways you can pull this off but you really need to dig down deep and get in touch with your romantic side.

Help out around the house and with the children… Our schedules are so full and demanding and if we work outside of the home (a lot of us do) we are busy from sun up to sun down and then some. We need all hands on deck when it comes to taking care of the daily household chores and caring for the children. If you take over a generous amount of chores around the house and volunteer to take the children to soccer practice, dance or any other activities they are involved in, this is a sure way to ease some of the stress on your partner and I promise you she will be grateful for your help.

What Women Want
What Women Want.

Be our friend.. Yes we have our girlfriends, but to have a true and bonded relationship with you, we need you to be our friend as well. We need open and honest communication. We need to connect with you and share some common interests. We need to know that when the world has smashed us down to near ashes, you are the one last spark that is just enough to rekindle our fire for life again.

Be a good listener… Sometimes we need to vent. I know, you probably think we do that way too much already. You are right, we should not completely dump our feelings on you all the time but we do need you to be a good listener when we are having a really bad day or are in serious need of an open ear. We do not expect you to be able to fix every problem that heads our way. Simple listening and a consoling hug are enough to show us you care.

Show interest in what we enjoy… Having a common interest is an important aspect in any relationship. Of course we are not going to always like what you enjoy or you like what we enjoy, however there should be at least one or two activities that we can both enjoy together. Our hobbies and pursuits of happiness may not be your cup of tea, but if you will at least take just a few minutes of your time and devote it to listening to us tell you about our adventures and show some genuine interest, this is a sure way to increase the reading on our love meter.

Have a good sense of humor and a positive attitude… Even on a bad day a good sense of humor can lighten an otherwise miserable load and that is what women want and need. We love to laugh and laughing puts us in a better mood. A guy with a good sense of humor is a true asset to a girl. We also like for you to have a positive and upbeat attitude. Who wants to spend time with (or much less their life with) someone who sits around complaining and always having something negative to say? Negative personalities eat holes in relationships. We really do not have the time to dedicate to guy with a bad attitude.

What Women Want Is For Their Man To Have a sense of style…What Women Want

Yes guys, we do care about how you look. Whether we have been dating a few weeks or married for years, you should still at least try to assemble some sort of presentable appearance especially if we are out in public. I am not saying you should dress to the hilt when sitting around at home but if you put an effort into being presentable and coordinated out in public that says a lot about how you feel about pleasing us and how you take care of business as an individual.

Have a sensitive side… You do not have to be tough all the time around us. We understand that is the common ground you share with your guy friends but we need you to be sensitive when matters call for it. It is ok to shed a tear and it is ok to be emotional. It shows you are human and that you care. We are not asking for you to turn into a tear soaked cry baby but just show your sensitivity when the time and place is ripe for it.

what I wish I knew when I was 18

8 things I wish I knew when I was 18

Have you ever just wished you knew all you do now when you were 18 years old? I bet quite a few of us age 35 and older have had this thought cross our minds at least once. If only I could push the rewind button back into time with this long list of dos and don’ts how much better life could be or at least that is what we think often when we experience the inevitable challenges of being an adult.


thinking

So after pondering for a bit here is my list of 8 things I wish I knew when I was 18; some pieces of advice I would give to myself if I could go back in time:

1. Invest in yourself. Investing in yourself is all about what you know and how you take care of your body and use your time. Invest in your education, seek out every “free” piece of knowledge you can find to build upon what you have already learned. Learn time management skills because time wasted is money out the door. Invest time in taking care of your health, diet and body. Just because you are 18 it does not mean you should indulge in a bad diet. Trust me, as you age your poor diet habits will come back to haunt you in the form of health problems, expensive medical bills and worse yet possible disability and loss of income. If you start out early with an invested mindset to take good care of your body, you will minimize the likelihood of these issues.

2. What other people think of you is not the pivotal axis that makes your world go round. Youthful foolishness is part of the teen years and growing up but once you hit adulthood leave those childish years behind. Other people are going to state their opinions as long as they have the ability to speak. Remember, your ideas are important to you and that is what matters. Your dreams, your hopes and inspirations are the unique part of you and we are all unique. Unless you are trying to make a good first impression, put aside what other people think and take it as a grain of salt. Live each day with your goals in place and let the thoughts of your goals and the path it takes to reach them drown out the noise of opinions.

3. Mentally and emotionally prepare yourself to make many mistakes. We are only human and are going to make mistakes. Do not fear them. They are a natural part of life and help you to grow and learn. The biggest mistake that can be made is not moving forward with an idea or a goal due to fear of making a mistake. Do not let doubt control your destiny. You will never be sure your plan is going to work, but take that chance anyway. No matter how things turn out you will never learn what lies at the finishing line if you do not start the race. Use any mistakes made as a learning experience and not a reason to fear.

4. Focus on finding work that you love doing. Now this may be the surprising and hard part because we live in a world mostly focused on going after the degree and the jobs that lead to making the most money. Do not make a career choice based upon someone else’s ideas, goals or recommendations. You must choose something that fits your own interests and passion. You do not want to get stuck working in something you despise and that has happened to many people who inevitably can lead to stress, depression and a whole host of problems. It is better to do what you love and love what you do.

5. Often take time to seek out new opportunities or ideas. Do not get so comfortable in a certain area and afraid of what lies beyond that you do not explore possibilities outside of the four walls you are familiar with. New experiences are what makes our lives filled with happiness and purpose so do not shy away from a new opportunity.

6. Accept change. Learn to accept that things will always change and if a situation becomes bad, that to will change over time. It may not be easy but stay focused and things will get better. Do not waste time on worrying. Worrying never changed a situation.

7. Live a life of truth and honesty. A life built on honesty will build your character, integrity, trust from others and you will not have to carry the guilt monkey on your back which often times catches up with a person when they live a life of lies.

8. Do not expect people to know what you feel or think. They will not, unless you tell them. Learn to properly communicate what you think or feel with others. Do not always expect them to initiate the conversation that they do not know even needs to take place. Being transparent is a good way to keep from letting bothersome feelings pile up and it will build a good rapport with others.

bad relationship

6 Signs That You Are in a Bad Relationship

Often times it is easy to end up in a bad relationship without evening realizing it.

This applies to both friendships and romantic relationships. The people we socialize with have a strong impact on our lives. They influence our thoughts and behavior and can drag us down or lift us up. Wondering if you are in a relationship gone bad?

Bad Relationship

Here are 6 warning signs that you could be in a bad relationship.

  1. They speak negatively about your aspirations, dreams and talents.

Instead of encouraging you to pursue your goals, you will often find them telling you their opinions on what they think you can actually achieve and therefore are setting limitations on you. They are pretty good at painting a vivid picture of how your particular path should lie ahead and will make assumptions on how it is all going to end up. Even though you may look at their directions as well-intended, you should never let their negativity affect your choices. You are capable of achieving any goal when you put forth the required efforts and determination it takes.

  1. Their negative attitude is starting to affect you.

The negative people in your life will spew their attitude problem towards not only you, but everyone else that comes in contact with them. Negativity is like a disease that is contagious with contact.   Most of the time, their own inner problems and issues fester like a sore and give birth to the bad approach these people take towards situations.  To keep from contracting the “negativity bug”, take a good long break from the person who is putting a damper in your mood. It may be a good idea to sit down and talk with this person and address the problem. If they still refuse to change, it is probably best to eliminate your contact with this individual altogether.

3.   You have caught them in a lie more times than you care to admit.

Trust and honesty are some of the most important aspects of a relationship. If the person you have a relationship with has a tendency to lie to you (whether you think it is big or small) they are not proving to be a good partner, good friend or anyone that you can trust. Lying is a blatant form of disrespect towards you.  A person who truly values your relationship will always be honest and forth giving of information.  Withholding important information is just as bad as telling a lie to cover it up. Remember, lies are poisonous to a relationship.

bad

Signs of a Bad Relationship…

4.   They do not free up time to spend with you unless it is convenient for them.

If you are in a relationship with someone who will not make an effort to dedicate time to spend with you, this is a sure sign you need to get out of the relationship. Never put yourself in a position to pine after the affection of another who only puts a small fraction of effort into spending quality time with you. Realize your own value and self-worth. Anyone who truly cares about you will show it in their actions towards you and part of those actions is spending quality time.

5.  They harbor jealousy and keep bringing up your past.

Everyone has a past and we all make mistakes at one point or another that we are not particularly proud of. A healthy relationship is one that can move forward and put those events behind it and learn to forgive or if there is no need for forgiveness, they just simply move on toward the future leaving the past behind. If you are in a relationship with someone who keeps bringing up a mistake that is in your past or they keep judging you by that event and not letting it go, you probably need to let that person go.  They will zap and drain you of all positive energy and self-worth that you have by berating you and that is not a relationship that you want to continue if you care about yourself.

6.  They choke the life out of you..  If you feel choked (as I like to call it) or as some people may say “trapped” take a long hard look at the reasons. You should not feel restricted in a friendship or a partnership. Any relationship should be built on honesty, trust and the ability to have other friends and the freedom to move about without feeling controlled. If a person is attempting to limit the places you go, the people you see and the activities you participate in, this is a warning sign of a controlling and choking relationship.

Recommended Books to Help You Get Out of the Relationship Slump…

women's fashion

Women’s Fashion

Women’s fashion is all about style, class and adding a little bit of a unique twist of individuality to your wardrobe.

You want to look beautiful, but you do not want your clothing to be too revealing. Every time I go to clothing stores these days, I sigh in exasperation.  I find the perfect dress only to discover it is way too short. Oh I absolutely adore that top, but it is so low-cut that I need an undershirt to go with it or worse yet, you can see right through it so now I need to buy two tops just to wear the one.  Needless to say, it is hard to find clothing that is both appealing to the eye and modest in taste.

Society and media are enticing our young girls, women and even older women to dress in an inappropriate manner.  The fixation on body image and baring all is mind-boggling. With an obsessed media and culture shift that is steadfast on insulting women if their bodies are the least bit out of tune with what is considered perfect, it is no wonder girls learn at any early age to display their bodies as something to be looked at by dressing in the most revealing and scantily clad outfits.

We should teach our daughters that they are unique and beautiful in their own way and bring them up with modesty. Do not let society and the latest trend dictate to you what is women’s fashion.

Thankfully, I have found a few awesome places to shop for absolutely cute and trendy women’s fashion clothing with styles that are totally amazing and prices that are too good to be true.

womens fashionBe beautiful, sophisticated and super cute in this trendy striped skirt.

womens fashionThis office friendly coral top will add a simple and feminine touch to any outfit.

Womens FashionFloral tops make a statement during the summer months not to mention they are so cool.

maxi dressBe both comfortable and chic in this lovely maxi dress.

womens fashionGet ready for the beach in this cute polka dot and ruffles two piece

If you like these trendy and super cute picks and want to take a look at more where these came from, check them out at SexyModest Boutique

healthy relationship

How to Have a Healthy Relationship

It is not easy to build a healthy relationship, but it is doable. Patience, kindness, understanding, open ears and oftentimes closed mouths are some of the key ingredients that create a relationship that works.

Regardless of where you are in your relationship ie dating, married, married for years or just a good friendship, avoiding some of the pitfalls that many people stumble into during their relationships will help put you on the right track to a healthy and strong bond with your partner.


Healthy Relationship

Fear and lack of trust destroys relationships…

A good relationship is created from having faith and not carrying baggage from past hurts into your new partnership. In order to love another person, you have to open yourself up to them. This means resisting the urge to guard your heart. Hold nothing back. Yes this will leave you wide open for a chance to get hurt if they are the type to hurt you; however, the only way to create a healthy and well bonded relationship with your partner is to trust them to love you and not break your heart.

You cannot spend your time fearing something they have not even done yet and quite possibly will not do. Take a chance at real love by opening your heart and letting your partner in.

Do not keep secrets from your partner.

A recipe for relationship disaster is one that is loaded with secrets, lies, deceit and all of the other dirty deeds that can crop up and ruin a couple. A lie, even what you would call a “little white lie” is still an arrow in the heart when it comes to trust building in relationships.

Withholding the truth is the same as a lie. Do not feel as if you are in the right if you are hiding things. Open and honest communication is the quickest way to build a lasting bond filled with trust and forgiveness. Remember, the truth shall set you free.

Do not focus on the past (yours or your partners)

If we are old enough to vote, most of us have some sort of past whether considered big or small. Talking about past relationships and intimacy with another partner is a pretty good way to start a battle or at least a smoldering fire in a new relationship. It is human nature to experience some amounts of jealousy and some people are more jealous than others.

Unless your partner and you agree to discuss past relationships and are open and okay with details, it is best to not make it a conversational topic. Yes, you should always be open and honest with your partner concerning your past experiences with other people but my advice is to keep it quick and to the point. If your partner asks you questions, be honest. Neither you nor your partner should focus on what happened before either of you met. It is a waste of energy and emotion that could be spent building a positive and loving relationship with each other.

Do not expect your partner to always be your rock.

Oftentimes in a healthy relationship, you and your partner will emotionally hold each other up and be positive reinforcements in times of need. As a relationship grows and matures, there will probably come a time when you are both going through the same emotional battle and neither can hold the other up. Realize that this does not mean your partner does not love or care about what you are going through. Instead of getting hurt and angry, focus on talking to and seeking emotional guidance from a close friend or counselor.

You and your partner can also discuss how you each feel about the situation you are dealing with. Rather than expecting them to pull you through the entire ordeal, gently lean on each other with open talk and you will see how much closer it will bring you.

Do not expect things to be picture perfect or easy.

When life throws in some monkey wrenches, you and your partner need to work through the obstacles that are bound to pop up. It is simply a part of life. People who enjoy long-term healthy relationships learn how to weather storms together. Ducking tail and running is not the way to solve problems and if you find yourself doing this more often than you care to admit, you could be the reason for your own relationship failures in the past. When things get difficult, regardless of the circumstances, sit down and discuss resolutions with your partner.

Discuss your feelings and be open to hearing about your partners feelings. Work on a plan to tackle all problems as a team. This will enable you to grow closer, build a stronger bond and deeper trust.

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