Self-Help

love yourself

5 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You

If I were in a room with a large group of people and I asked how many of you are concerned about what other people think of you I bet the majority of the group would raise their hands with an astounding yes.  Why do we make it our mission to try to please others. How can we work on building self-confidence when we are so worried about what everyone thinks?

Could it be that we are raised in a society that teaches us the importance of how people view us? At an early age we are taught how to look a certain way for different types of functions and events that we attend and if you take time to sit back and notice, it is a fairly standard “dress and behavior code” across the board.

Building Self Confidence

We learn what is We learn considered politically correct, what appropriate mannerisms we should have, how to speak our opinions and beliefs with tact and what restrictions are placed upon us concerning our behaviors out in public. No wonder by the time we reach adulthood it is pretty commonplace to be a bit overly obsessed with what others think about us!

The problem is when we seek constant approval from others and are so preoccupied with how they view us; we lose focus on being ourselves and living as we are meant to live with our own passions, ideas and desires. How can we really live and achieve true happiness if we are only reacting in a robotic fashion to what society expects of us?

Here are a few ways to help you get back to living for you and stop worrying and obsessing over what others think which will help you with building self-confidence.

1. Ask yourself, in the general scheme of things does it really matter what they think of me?

I learned a long time ago regardless of how many times I bent over backwards, crawled in the mud and did everything I thought was necessary to portray a perfect image according to the standards of society and those around me I would still never be able to please everyone. Everyone is different and everyone has different viewpoints and interprets things in a different way.

Even if you feel you have chosen your words very carefully, the odds are that you will run up on someone who may find what you said offensive. Does it really matter when it comes down to your life in general? No. You should focus on how you see yourself and not what others think. Confidence and a good self-esteem are built on your own feelings of self-worth. Never be ashamed of doing the right thing and following what you feel is the right path rather than what is considered the trend or popular opinion.

2. Realize that being different and unique is an asset rather than a problem.

Think of it this way, who gets noticed in a sea of faces and how can you pick out one particular apple among a hundred?
Having a unique character is what makes us who we are. Oftentimes it is easy to try to mirror other people that we admire. We fall into the trap of envying another person’s lifestyle and what we think they are is who we want to be. If we think they live a picture perfect life (or what we consider to be perfect) it makes us desire to be like them even more.

Regardless of another person’s aspirations, successes and accomplishments, you need to just be you. We all have our own place in this world and our own goals to achieve. How would the world be interesting if we were all the same? Being unique and letting your true personality shine is one of the best ways to build self-confidence.

3. Live by your own truths and wisdom picked up along the way.

Even if you are scared to death, stay true to yourself. Speak what you know is true and do not offer falsehoods because you think it will satisfy others. There is no such thing as a white lie. In order to control your own destiny and not let others control you, sometimes you must speak your mind absent of fear and worry. Let whatever happens just happen.

Majority of the time you will see that it will open up doors of opportunity rather than shut you out. People admire others who stand up for themselves and voice words of honesty more than they look up to people who are considered fake because they live in fear and just follow the crowd.

4. Haven’t you heard opinions are like butt holes, being everyone has one?

Everyone has an opinion and some voice it much more than others but either way the opinion is still there at least in the form of a thought present in their minds. Whether their opinion of you is a pleasant one or one of loathing, remember it is their opinions and their problems not yours. The only opinion that should matter to you is how you think of yourself.

We are all guilty of judging another by how they look, speak or act not because those things are necessarily bad, but rather because it is different from us. Work on building a habit of being less judgmental and forming opinions of others and make it your goal not to worry about what others think of you.

5. Come to an understanding that people are more caught up in themselves than thinking about and over analyzing you anyway.

The truth is if anyone is forming an opinion as to what they think about you or are judging you, how long do you really think they are dedicating their time to this? Most likely not very long. Why veer off course of your goals on building self-confidence because you are too busy fretting over the judgment of others? People are more into themselves than worrying about keening a constant watchful eye on the lives of others.

Our fears of others constantly watching us and critiquing every step we take are simply nothing but fears. Our own insecurities and lack of confidence is what places us in this worrisome state. Focus more on building your self-confidence, staying on top of your goals regardless of what others think or say and working towards your own ideas and you will feel what it is like to be free.

fibromyalgia trigger points

Fibromyalgia Trigger Points

Fibromyalgia trigger points are painful areas that are seemingly under the skin surface such as the inner part of the knee, shoulder or elbow close to joints but not the joints themselves.

They are usually not extremely painful but are tender or sore to the touch when they are pressed on. The feeling is similar to a painful bruise.

What causes these tender and painful trigger areas is not known. The first thought would be inflammation, however extensive research has ruled out inflammation as a likely suspect because they have not found evidence when examining affected tissues.

Fibromyalgia trigger points are usually small areas of pain no bigger than a dime. The common areas for a tender point to develop are the elbows, neck, chest, back, knees, buttocks and hips.

In the past, to get diagnosed with fibromyalgia, you will need to have experienced widespread pain for at least three months and test positive for tenderness in at least 11 of the 18 specific areas that are typical for fibromyalgia sufferers.

More recently, some people are now being diagnosed with fibromyalgia without the need to have all of the required trigger areas to be painful. This has opened up a wealth of opportunity for many sufferers who previously could not obtain a diagnosis and treatment they need. They now are able to have access to the medications and therapies that will allow them to lead a full and active lifestyle.

A doctor that is aware and experienced with fibromyalgia can diagnose the syndrome by utilizing the trigger point test and/or examining the patient’s symptoms. Some physicians use a device called a doximeter to apply the proper pressure on the trigger points so that they can accurately diagnose their patient.

Usually a patient with fibromyalgia will have tender points in any of 18 specific areas of their body.

This diagram shows the most common triggers points that are extremely tender when pressed. Doctors use this test to check for fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia Trigger Points

Thoughts to Remember….

Routine lab work does not detect fibromyalgia.

If you don’t meet the trigger point criteria, the diagnosis of fibromyalgia may still apply to you.

If you have widespread pain along with many of the commonly associated symptoms, you may have fibromyalgia.

Common Symptoms..

  • fatigue that is not relieved by rest
  • sleep disorder (not feeling rested)
  • irritable bowel (e.g., diarrhea, constipation, etc.)
  • post-exertional malaise and muscle pain
  • cognitive or memory impairment
  • chronic headaches (tension-type or migraines)
  • jaw aches and pains (including TMJ dysfunction)
  • skin and chemical sensitivities
  • morning stiffness (waking up stiff and achy)
  • numbness and tingling sensations
meditation guide

Meditation Guide

This meditation guide has been developed to help you discover all of the wonderful meditation techniques to relax your mind, body and soul. Meditation brings you a greater sense of awareness and reveals your inner strength and peace. Worries and stress will easily melt away once you regularly practice this unique art of the mind.

Many of us are not familiar with meditation and the true health benefits it has to offer. The following are a list of questions and answers that will introduce you to the art of meditation and guide you toward choosing the form of meditation that is right for you.

Meditation Guide

What is Meditation?

Meditation is a unique practice in which you train your mind to relax, slip into a state of calmness, build internal energy, or develop love and forgiveness. People learn to meditate for various reasons, but the end result is always a more relaxed and well-focused state of mind.

Is there a certain type of Meditation that is right for me?

To determine what kind of meditation will be right for you, you need to think about how much time you have to devote to the practice and the particular issues you want meditation to help you resolve. There are several kinds of meditation and each one has its own length of time and process. We will introduce you to the types of meditation so that you are able to choose which is best for you.

Do I have to sit in a certain position such as “Indian style” in order to Meditate?

No, that position is comfortable and the norm for many however you need to just find a position that you are comfortable with, but do not fall asleep. If you can stay awake to meditate lying down, you can pick that position if you wish.

I find it hard to stay focused and be still during Meditation, why is that?

Most people have a habit of staying busy and doing something all through their waking hours. We can be quite the busy body! Actually training yourself to stay quiet, calm and still takes time and patience.

How long should I Meditate?

Twenty minutes is a good amount of time to start off meditating. If you can meditate longer without problem and you are still able to meet your daily responsibilities then that is fine. Test the waters to see the appropriate amount of time that is right for you. Starting out early in the morning during sunrise or before and ending the day with a session before bed time is ideal.

What benefits should I expect to receive from practicing Meditation?

We are all different in both body and mind, however; at first most people tend to feel as if they are just being interrupted by scattered thoughts, mental noise or have even given themselves headaches trying to focus to no avail. The practice takes time and you must give your best effort to take deep breaths and let your body relax at the beginning of each session.

Once you master the art of Meditation by following this meditation guide, most people generally experience the following: relaxation in both mind and body, general divine peacefulness, strong focus and concentration, the need for less sleep, living for the present time, a quieter mind, creativity, pure happiness, moments of ectasy and blissfulness, intuition and visions. This is a list of only some of the wonderful feelings and emotions you may experience during meditation.

Hatha Yoga

Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga is the perfect practice of building strength and flexibility with many different aspects of yoga blended to create the ultimate balance.

What Does The Word Hatha Mean?

To get a better understanding of this mixture of techniques for yoga, you should be aware of what Hatha means. This word is translated as ha which means “sun” and tha which means “moon.” The combination of the opposites such as masculine with heat (sun) and feminine with coolness (moon) resonates in all of us. Therefore, Hatha yoga is a method of creating balance, aligning the opposites and development of flexibility and strength.

hatha yoga

The Eight Limbs Practiced in Hatha Yoga.

There are eight limbs of the practice of yoga which is believed to have been collated into the practice called the Yoga Sutra about 2,000 years ago by the Indian sage Patanjali. The eight limbs are yamas (restraints), niyamas (observances), asana (postures), pranayama (breathing), pratyahara (withdrawal of senses), dharana (concentration), dhyani (meditation), and samadhi (absorption).

As we explore these eight limbs, we begin by refining our behavior with our interaction and interpretation of the outer world, and then we focus inwardly on ourselves until we reach samadhi (liberation, enlightenment).

Let’s further go into depth on the eight limbs of yoga so that we can better understand how the entire Hatha process works

Yama: Universal morality

The yamas are broken down into five “wise characteristics” that have been practiced for centuries. These characteristics reveal our fundamental nature which is compassionate, generous, honest and peaceful.” They are as follows:

Satya – Commitment to Truthfulness

Satya means “to speak the truth,” yet it is not always desirable to speak the truth on all occasions, for it could harm someone unnecessarily. We have to consider what we say, how we say it, and in what way it could affect others. If speaking the truth has negative consequences for another, then it is better to say nothing. Satya should never come into conflict with our efforts to behave with ahimsa.

Ahimsa – Compassion for all living things

The word ahimsa literally mean not to injure or show cruelty to any creature or any person in any way whatsoever. Ahimsa is, however, more than just lack of violence as adapted in yoga. It means kindness, friendliness, and thoughtful consideration of other people and things.

Aparigraha – Neutralizing the desire to acquire and hoard wealth

Aparigraha means to take only what is necessary, and not to take advantage of a situation or act greedy. We should only take what we have earned; if we take more, we are exploiting someone else.

Brahmacharya – Sense control

Brahmacharya is used mostly in the sense of abstinence, particularly in relationship to sexual activity. Brahmacharya suggests that we should form relationships that foster our understanding of the highest truths. Brahmacharya does not necessarily imply celibacy. Rather, it means responsible behavior with respect to our goal of moving toward the truth.

Asteya – Non-stealing

Steya means “to steal”; asteya is the opposite-to take nothing that does not belong to us. This also means that if we are in a situation where someone entrusts something to us or confides in us, we do not take advantage of him or her. Non-stealing includes not only taking what belongs to another without permission, but also using something for a different purpose to that intended, or beyond the time permitted by its owner.

Niyama : Personal observances

The Niyama of Hatha yoga is also broken down into smaller branches. These smaller branches are:

Saucha – cleanliness

This applies to cleanliness on the outside as well as the inside. Eating healthy foods and drinking lots of water helps clean toxins and harmful waste products from our bodies. Cleaning the outside of our body rides our skin of dirt and impurities. What about mental cleanliness? Yes, we should also clean our minds by riding ourselves of anxiety, worry, anger, sadness, violence and any other negative emotions that can hinder us on our yoga journey.

Santosha – contentment

Being content should not be a difficult thing yet for many of us it is so very hard to achieve true contentment. Forget your worries, set aside your cares, leave anguish and strife behind. Be happy in the moments you have and live for the present. This will help you achieve real contentment.

Tapas – heat or austerity!

From the practice of Hatha yoga we can achieve a burning fire to better ourselves and achieve heights in our lives that we have not experienced before. The desire and passion within builds motivation which is the heat or Tapas of yoga. Eliminate negative addictions and mind-set. Be the best person that you can be.

Svadhyaya – Study of oneself

Know thyself! This is a wisdom of the centuries. Once we come to truly know ourselves we will be better able to take care of what our bodies and our minds need to achieve for growth and vitality. Once we become more aware and see our faulty side which we all possess, we will be able to become a more positive and spiritual person.

Ishvara – Pranidhara – surrender to God

Get in touch with your spiritual self. Your soul. Put yourself in the will of God. Open your mind to the truths and the path that you are supposed to lead. Learn to develop patience and self-control in this state of Hatha yoga.

The Next Purifying Aspects of Hatha Yoga Are:

Asanas : Body postures

Pranayama : Breathing exercises, and control of prana

Pratyahara : Control of the senses

Dharana : Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness

Dhyana : Devotion, Meditation on the Divine

Samadhi : Union with the Divine

rigger point massage therapy

Trigger Point Massage Therapy

Trigger point massage therapy is a wonderful treatment that helps relieve muscle tightness and pain for people who suffer from fibromyalgia and other myofascial pain disorders.  Often times, muscle strain and injury cause myofascial pain. Physical as well as psychological stress can cause muscles to tighten up and form trigger points. These trigger points, which are mostly knotted hard muscles, can be very painful and even debilitating. 

Other factors commonly noted to cause trigger point formation include poor posture, deconditioning of muscles, repetitive mechanical stress and imbalance, joint disorders, non-restorative sleep, and vitamin deficiencies.

Getting a trigger point massage at least once a month will help your muscle fibers relax and unlock the knots that cause you so much pain. A massage therapist that has experience with trigger point massage therapy is highly recommended to help you get your muscle pain resolved.

Trigger Point Massage Therapy

Trigger Point Massage Therapy Techniques

Sarcomere (the unlocking of a muscle contraction mechanism) involves trigger point pressure release. Your therapist will apply pressure with their finger or a device directly to the trigger point and slowly increase pressure which manipulates the muscle and forces it to soften and release. Each therapist has their own way of performing this procedure. Most patients start feeling a soothing and calming relief during the session.

Spray and Stretch procedure… This is a technique which uses vapo-coolant spray to distract the muscle and allow it to completely stretch and release the trigger point. The vapo-coolant is very cold and it will evaporate once it touches your skin. Once the therapist gets the trigger point released, the muscle will need to be moved slowly with simple limbering exercises that can be done at home which are used to retrain the muscle so that it can work in the proper position.

What You Should Expect From Treatment

Trigger point massage therapy has a high success rate with many patients experiencing relief after the first treatment. Some patients will need several treatments before they start seeing results. Every person responds to therapy differently. Muscle soreness and fatigue are both common a few days after treatment and should resolve quickly. Over the course of treatment, some people who seek therapy for neck pain many times will also experience relief from chronic pain in their forearm or hand. This is due to referred pain from the neck radiating to other parts of the body. Your therapist will give you self-care advice for managing pain for when you are home. Minimizing stress and slowly working into your normal activities without overexerting yourself will increase your chances of becoming pain-free.

Rate of Results

Your rate of results will depend on several conditions:

Your compliance with self-care instructions and reducing or eliminating activities that aggravate your symptoms.

Your overall physical health and any possible aggravating medical conditions.

Nutrition and any vitamin or mineral deficiencies from poor or high fat diet.

Quality of sleep you get If you experience any symptoms of depression or anxiety.

Other medical conditions that you have

Things that your Therapist Needs to take into Consideration

Your therapist should take into account your full medical history as well as the amount of time you have experienced the pain.

Assess your work environment and the ergonomics of your work area or any other precipitating factors.

Make or direct you to someone who can make nutritional and proper sleep recommendations.

Be sure that your normal family care provider has ordered lab/blood work to rule out any other possible causes that should be addressed.

Help you to learn a self-help treatment plan and proper exercises to keep your muscles strong and reduce the chances of any recurring trigger point issues.

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