Do you ever get on Facebook and see someone change their relationship status to “it’s complicated”? More than likely you have seen this at least once in your news feed. The problem is there are way too many relationships that people consider complicated these days. What is a complicated relationship anyway? I have pondered this question and the answer seems pretty broad. Maybe this is the best way to explain it.
A complicated relationship is any relationship where everything does not run as smoothly as a storybook fairytale.
Someone or some circumstance does something to cause an issue. If this is the case, we are all in a flawed relationship because none of us are perfect.
My theory is if we want to “uncomplicate” the relationships in our lives we must first search within ourselves and clean up old hurt feelings, bad pessimistic attitudes, grudges and baggage and only then can we understand how to nurture a thriving partnership with another human being.
Here are some positive ways to renew your way of thinking and living which will help you turn around a complicated relationship.
1. If you do not love yourself and lack self-respect, how can you expect someone else to respect and love you? You need to dig deep within and pull out the reasons that you struggle with this issue and remove these obstacles.
2. Do not cast judgment. None of us is perfect and neither do we have the right to judge others. Let the past die in the past, live in the present and do not worry about the future. When we judge others and bring up their past mistakes, we are only reopening old wounds as well as create wedges in our relationship with them. Realize we are all imperfect and human and that is okay.
3. Show your love rather than let simple words roll off your tongue. It is easy to run around saying I love you. You can speak these words all day long but if you do not show that you mean them and use action to express your love, they are nothing but wasted empty words.
4. Don’t let simple misunderstandings cause conflict. Making mountains out of mole hills only create tension and anger which over time is likely to cause a major meltdown in the relationship. Understand you will not always agree on everything with your partner. Learn to compromise and learn to let things go.
5. Respect difference and unique individuality. We are all different and we all like different things. It is good to have things in common as that builds a healthy relationship when we can enjoy things together with our partners but also understand your partner will like things that you do not necessarily like doing and that is ok too.
6. Notice the little things. It is easy to notice if your partner schedules a romantic trip for two or buys you an expensive gift but there are little things that truly matter which oftentimes go unnoticed. Watch for and be grateful for the little acts of love and kindness that your partner will show you.
7. Be Kind. If you run around like an angry bull, bark out orders and bite heads off you are bound to run into relationship troubles. Even on days you do not feel like being kind, show love and think of the other person’s feelings and do not stomp on their toes just because it will make you feel better. If you need to release that pent-up frustration and anger, go beat on a punching bag, scream into a pillow or jump up and down on the ground. Bottom line is don’t take things out on your partner.
8. Be positive and become someone who is worthy of a relationship. Change your attitude. Think about how you would feel if you were stuck with someone who is negative and filled with gloom and doom all day long. That kind of attitude would eventually suck the life out of the most happy-go-lucky of people. Try to be more positive and learn to find humor and take time to laugh and live. Yes you will have bad days but if you strive to see more good then the bad and let that be a reflection of your attitude, you will see an overall improvement in your relationships with others.
Books I highly recommend that will help you get started on getting your relationship back on track….