Many of us find ourselves dealing with insecurity in a relationship with our partner or even with friends.
Sometimes insecurity is born from low self-esteem, being hurt by someone in the past, not being able to trust others or body image issues. Regardless of the reasons you are struggling with insecurity in your relationship, there are ways to overcome it and enjoy a thriving and healthy relationship.
Here are five easy ways to strengthen your feelings towards your partner or friend.
You must stop trying to find that perfect person because they do not exist..
Sometimes we are just way too picky when it comes to the right people to pair up with on a romantic or friendship level. A common excuse is I am looking for “Mr. Right.” Mr. or Ms. Right should not lead you into thinking about perfection. If you are looking for a fairy tale or storybook romance, you are setting yourself up for failure. Remember story books and movies are fiction and real life cannot perfect those standards.
We are all imperfect and that is what makes us human. Realize also that we all have our own special talents, skills and abilities so look for qualities in a relationship that will compliment your own. Seeking someone who is also imperfect like you but possesses unique qualities will help balance both of your personalities and lead you to the right relationship for you.
Don’t waste all of your time trying to figure out what the other person is thinking.
This problem happens a lot in relationships. As soon as your partner says something that you do not quite understand, you start trying to figure out what he or she really meant. Do not automatically assume that a comment means something totally different from what was said. We spend so much time trying to analyze the thoughts and words of others that it can make us feel like we are losing our minds.
The same holds true if a person is silent. Do not make the mistake of instantly thinking that silence is a bad sign. However, in relationships we should always say what we mean and mean what we say. Be generous with your thoughts and feelings. Trust and security in a relationship is built with open conversation and being transparent with your thoughts and feelings.
Do not compare your new relationship to a previous one that did not work out…
Another bad trait that can make you feel insecure in your relationship is by judging your partner or comparing him or her to someone else. You have to let the past go and along with it all past hurts, disappointments and painful experiences. Yes we can all get scared if we have been in a bad relationship, but remember your new relationship is different.
Your new partner or friend is a different person who deserves your respect and trust until it is broken. The fact is this may be the right person for you and your trust quite possibly will never be broken. So do not bring luggage with you into a new relationship. Always come forth with an open mind and a fresh outlook. Leave the dirty old bags behind you.
Do not over think and create problems that are not even there.
A quick way to sabotage an otherwise healthy relationship is by convincing yourself that there is a problem when there isn’t one. Feeling insecure is usually the cause of imagining problems that are not truly there. Learn to relax, let others care for you and give you love. Take down the shields and the walls that you have built and open your heart. Do not hang yourself up on any one event.
Things happen in relationships. Again, this is where talk, love and open ears are the true answers. Relationship ups and downs are normal so go with the flow of the current of your relationship and you will find yourself on smoother and happier waters.
Do not focus on negative aspects of your relationship.
All relationship will have rough patches at some point. Some may have more than others. It is normal and human to have days that are not so great. Remember it is ok if your partner is being a jerk one day or is in a bad mood. Give him or her some space during those moments and show them your love regardless. They will thank you for that later. I am not saying if something is notably wrong in a relationship that you should accept that. If this is the case, you and your partner should talk and get everything out on the table. If they are just having a bad day, have some little negative quirks about them or something that is rather small, don’t waste your time focusing on it. Rather learn to accept and let it go.